A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her.
But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"
The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders ahamburger.The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"and orders ahamburger.The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"
Tags│Putok
GF: Luv, anong pasalubong mo sa akin? BF: Secret! GF: Uuuuy, ang sweet mo naman! masyado kang malihim… BF: Tanga!!! sabi ko SECRET para sa KILIKILI mo!!
Gusto kong tumakbo palabas ng tinaas nya ang kanyang kamay. Para kasing atomic bomb na sumabog ang kanyang anghit.
Muntik na akong mag collapse! Ang lakas ng PUTOK nya! Nakakahilo! Feeling ko nakasobsob ako sa kanyang kilikili. Iba talaga ang kanyang amoy. Halos mawalan ako ng ulirat, pero pinilit kong magdasal ng tahimik sa aking isip.
“Lord sana po ay matapos ng maayos ang aking gupit!” Pakiramdam ko kasi, bawat taas ng kamay nya ay napapagalaw ang aking ulo. Talo pa yata nito ang pagputok ng nag-ngangalit na bulkan ng Mayon. Naisip ko sana isinama na ito sa massacre sa maguindanao. Ngunit huli na ang lahat, hindi na ako pwedeng mag back-out. Tiniis ko ang isang tila malaking pagsubok na iyon.
Habang ginugupitan ako ay hindi ako nakatingin sa salamin, kasi nakikita ko lang ang kanyang kilikili at lalo yatang lumalakas ang aking pang-amoy. Ipinikit ko ang aking mata
Source│http://www.filipinowriter.com/ayoko-ng-malakas-ang-putok
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